According to tradition, many Italian marriages were arranged by the families of the bride and groom. Often, the brother or another male relative of the groom went to the father or uncle of the young woman to ask for her hand in marriage. In some cases, a matchmaker sent a message (masciata) to the prospective bride's family of the man's intent to marry the bride. Once the two families were in accord, the couple's official engagement was announced.
In preparation for the wedding, the bride assembled a trousseau, consisting of household items, her clothing, and sometimes even her future husband's clothes, to bring to the home of the groom. Her family provided her with a dowry consisting of monetary, and possibly domestic goods. Today, the bride is gifted with money and household items at bridal showers given by her friends and relatives, and the groom celebrates with his friends and relatives at stag parties.
The actual wedding ceremony
(sposalizio) was officiated by the priest or civil authority. Old Church
traditions and folklore warned against marrying unpropitiously, and forbade
marriage during Lent and Advent. Marriage was also avoided in the months
of May and August. The former month was suggested to be reserved for the
veneration of the Virgin Mary, and the latter was thought to invite bad
luck and sickness. For the other months of the year, Sunday marriages were
believed to be luckiest for the wedding couple.
Customs: Past And Present
In the past, folklore called
for the groom to carry a piece of iron in his pocket on his wedding day
to ward off the evil eye since his happy situation might provoke envy,
and invite supernatural danger. The bride wore a bridal veil to conceal
her from malignant spirits, and according to others, tearing the veil was
considered good luck. In a few regions of Italy, at the end of the wedding
day, the couple shattered a vase or glass into many pieces. The number
of pieces represented the expected number of years they'll be happily married
to one another. At some present day Italian weddings, a pair of white doves
is released into the air and symbolizes the couple's love and happiness.
The custom of buste where
the bride carried a satin bag (la borsa) in which guests placed envelopes
containing money is still maintained in some of today's Italian weddings.
The money helps toward the expenses of the very traditional, lavish wedding
which was paid by the bride's family. Today, the high cost of such a large
wedding may cause a break in tradition. The groom's family may aid the
bride's family in bearing the expenses of the wedding.
Bringing Together Families
And Friends
The common theme at Italian
weddings, past and present, emphasizes food (nutrimento). Strongly linked
with family life, food is the focal point of the festivities. Even today,
the sheer volume of food reflects how highly anticipated and festive a
typical Italian wedding is. The elaborate wedding of the bride and groom
brings together the friends and relatives of both families in a celebration
of their new relationship.
Symbolic foods for good luck include twists of fried dough, powdered with sugar, called bow ties (wanda), and Italian wedding candy. The candy-covered almonds (confetti) tied in mesh bags to toss at the couple is based on a tradition to avoid childlessness. In the past, instead of wedding cake, ornamental bags or boxes were filled with the sugared almonds and sent to friends and guests to signify the matrimony or the "union of bitter and sweet."
At such an elaborate wedding, the lengthy celebration may begin with a mass in the morning, and the dancing and feasting after the wedding ceremony may continue well into the early morning hours of the next day. A band providing music for the wedding guests may play mazzuccas and tarantellas for the guests to dance to. At the banquet, sweet liquors are served to the women and strong drinks served to the men before any food.
The antipasto is served first and includes such foods as pickled peppers, olives, stuffed mushrooms, salami, mortadella, and calamari. A multi-course dinner follows, often as many as (sometimes even more) 14 different courses, replete with pastas, soups, meats, and fruits. The dinner is served with wine and other beverages. After dinner, everyone is served slices of wedding cake with cups of coffee, espresso or other beverages.