The best way to find a reliable caterer is to ask people who have used their services. Check references and if possible, sample their food and see their equipment. If you use a caterer, either for a wedding at home or at another site, be absolutely sure that every service to be provided and the total itemized costs are given to you in a contract. As with any contract, read it carefully and make sure you understand and agree to all terms and costs before you sign.

Specifically, be sure the following points are covered:

• Detailed menu and how it will be served
• Beverages-open bar, champagne, soft drinks
• Wedding cake
• Number of serving staff
• Whether gratuities are included
• Number and set up of tables and chairs
• Delivery charges
• Deadline for guest count
• Overtime charges
• Coat check facilities
• Tents or marquees
• Whether glass and china are insured against breakage
• Whether taxes are included in estimate

THE RECEIVING LINE
If there will be a long delay between the time the ceremony is over and when the wedding party is able to arrive at the reception, have someone at the reception site to greet the guests and offer them drinks. They can go through the receiving line when you arrive.

If you do have a receiving line you may want to arrange it. The bride's mother, as official hostess, should always be the first person in the line. If the bride has no mother, an aunt or grandmother can serve as hostess. Neither father has to stand in line. The bridesmaids are also optional. If they do stand in the line, they should position themselves after the maid or matron of honor. The best man does not stand in the line.

THE BRIDE'S TABLE
When there is a sit down wedding breakfast, luncheon or dinner, the sitting can be arranged in this way. As a rule, only the bridal party is seated at the bride's table, although husbands and wives of attendants may be included if there is room. The bride and groom sit next to each other the bride on the right. It is customary that the bride and groom be served even if guests serve themselves at a buffet table. Place cards are necessary only on the bride's table and parent's table if you use them at all, I hey could be used on all tables but that entails a lot of work and isn't necessary. The wedding cake may be centered on your table or on a separate table just for that purpose. At a stand-up reception, it is thoughtful to have a few tables at the sides and in the corners for older people.

THE PARENTS' TABLE
The parents of the bride and groom and other members of the intimate family, the minister and his wife, are seated at a separate table nearby.

TOASTS AT THE RECEPTION
The best man offers the toasts during the reception, usually during the dinner or just after the cutting of the cake. The toast may be very brief, "To Johnny and Betty, may they always be as happy as they are today" This first toast may be followed by the groom who can propose a toast for the bride's family. They the groom's father might follow and so forth but the best man's toast is sufficient. At a very formal wedding, the best man may make all the formal introductions of the different families and relatives and the best man also acts as a master of ceremonies for the rest of the night if the event calls for it. He also reads any telegrams you may have received.

THE WEDDING CAKE
The cutting of the wedding cake is always a highlight of the reception. It is traditional for the bride and groom to cut the first piece of cake together. The feeding of a piece of cake to each other is usually customary but it is optional. I prefer this be done with dignity rather than smashing the cake on each other. I could never find tile humor in that although I suppose some people find certain types of aggression funny. A toast to each other could follow.

DANCING
When there is dancing at a reception, by tradition, the bride and groom dance the first dance alone for the first few minutes. Then the bride's father cuts in on the groom to dance with t he bride, and the groom dances with the bride's mother. Fourth, the groom s parents come to the floor, and the groom's father dances with the bride. Fifth, the bride's father cuts in on the groom and dances with his wife. Sixth, the groom then dances with his mother. Seventh, your parents exchange dances with the groom's parents. Eighth, the best man dances with the bride. Ninth, the groom dances with the maid of honor. Finally, the wedding party - bridesmaids and ushers - join on the dance floor. Then the whole wedding party is on the dance floor, the other guests are invited to dance. Certain ethnic cultures have very interesting customs. Some offer a "money" dance where the bride and groom dance with relatives and friends while money is pinned on them as a sign of prosperity. Some customs offer a rich heritage of folk dances. There is one custom that places a groom and bride in chairs and the chairs are lifted by friends and carried throughout the reception hall. The important thing is that you enjoy your day. It is in your honor. People are there to see you happy.

THE GUEST BOOK TABLE
An elegant and traditional touch to any reception is the guest book table. This can be a little table decorated with a candle or a little greenery or bows, with chairs for the guest book attendants. The attendant can offer each guest the pen to sign the book.

THE TOSSING OF THE BOUQUET AND GARTER AND GOING AWAY
Tradition holds that the person who catches the bouquet may be the next bride. If you have someone in mind who you want to catch the flowers, you can face the group and take careful aim. Otherwise you toss the bouquet over your shoulder and leave it to fate. Sometimes a special smaller bouquet is provided for this custom so the bride can keep her bridal bouquet. It is the tradition today that the groom removes and throws the garter to all the unmarried men and the bride tosses her bouquet to all the unwed girls. If you are going to change into your going-away outfit, plan to have someone (your mother or maid of honor) assist you. When you and your husband are ready to leave, try to take a few minutes to say goodbye to your parents and attendants and thank them for helping make your wedding day. There was a time when old shoes were also thrown at a bride. The shoe was a symbol of possession and authority. When a girl married, her father gave her old shoes to the groom to signify that authority over her was now transferred to him. The custom of throwing rice and shoes after the couple has now lost its original significance and the throwing of rice and tying of shoes to the back of the couple's car remain only as symbols of good luck. The shoes are rapidly fading as a custom but the rice is still thrown. Some couples use rose petals, confetti or bird seeds as a substitute. It is a good idea to have the best man prepare the car for departure after making sure that everything is packed away and in order. When you're ready to leave, the guests form two lines and the couple runs through a hail of rice to their waiting car.