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Planning The Ceremony

There can be some variation, however, the ceremony generally proceeds as follows:

1. All participants in the ceremony are asked to be at the church entry 15 minutes before the hour set for the wedding. The bride and the bridesmaids will gather in the choir room; the groom and the best man will meet in the clergy's study.

2. The procedure for the wedding proper is generally as follows:

The wedding party meets in the vestibule just outside the sanctuary approximately five minutes before the hour set for the wedding, ready to take part.
  • The first solo.
  • The groom's grandparents are seated.
  • The bride's grandparents are seated.
  • The groom's parents are seated.
  • The bride's mother is seated.
  • The second solo.
  • If the white runner is to be laid along the aisle, this should be done by the ushers at this time.
  • The head usher signals the organist.
  • The ushers go down the aisle in pairs and take their places, the tallest going first.
  • The clergyman, the groom and the best man enter from the right and take their places facing toward the bride whenthe wedding march starts.
  • The bridal processional begins with the tallest bridesmaid going first.
  • As the bride enters the sanctuary, the mothers of the bride and groom stand. The guests will then automatically stand. The mothers and the guests should turn toward the aisle so that they can better see the bridal party as they come down the aisle.
  • When the bridal party reaches the front, the people may be seated.
  • The details of the ceremony itself can best be decided upon during the rehearsal.

    • After the ceremony.
    Immediately after the bridal party returns to the back of the church, the ushers return to the front of the church to escort the parents of the bride and groom. The procedure for ushering them is: the usher offers his arm to the bride's mother while her father follows behind, and then similarly for the groom's mother and father. After having ushered the mothers out, the ushers return immediately to the front and indicate to the guests, pew by pew, that they may leave.

    The receiving line should not be in the vestibule, but in the lobby or the fellowship hall. The order for those standing in line is determined by the bride, but a sensible order seems to be: (left to right) the bride's mother, the groom's father, his mother, the bride's, father, the bride, the groom, the maid of honor and the bridesmaids. It is optional whether or not the fathers or the ushers stand in the reception line. Note: This Ceremony Schedule is used by a non denominational church. It is to be used for a guide only.

    3. Following are some final suggestions and reminders:

  • Plan and follow through with the details of your wedding far enough ahead so you can really enjoy not only the preparations but the wedding itself.
  • Have as few social functions as possible the week before the wedding so you won't be too tired.
  • During the rehearsal, and especially during the wedding ceremony itself, try to be completely relaxed. There is nothing to memorize for the ceremony simply follow the directions given you by the clergyman. You will be more relaxed and less self-conscious during the ceremony if you think of the meaning of the words spoken both by yourself and the clergyman.
  • Remove the rings from their boxes before the wedding and have the best man keep the ring for the bride in his right coat pocket, and the maid of honor keep the ring for the groom on her thumb or middle finger.
  • The marriage license must be given to the clergyman before or at the rehearsal. He will fill it out and return it to the County Clerk after the ceremony.

    • Matters to discuss with your pastor or rabbi are:

  • Length of ceremony
  • Number of guests church or synagogue will comfortably hold
  • Whether, when, and low photographs and/or a video recording may be taken before, during and/or after the service
  • If a second minister or rabbi will be participating, how arrangements should be made
  • When to make an appointment with the organist to select music
  • What kind of floral arrangements/decorations are permitted
  • How to arrange access for the florist; the disposition of flowers after the ceremony
  • Whether there is a room for dressing prior to the service, if you require one
  • If you should arrange for the services of a traffic officer
  • Whether rice, rose petals, bird seed, etc. are permitted to be thrown outside the building
  • If you want an aisle carpet, whether one is provided
  • Whether the synagogue provides a canopy
  • Whether there are restrictions on your dress or your bridesmaids’ ensembles (sleeves, neckline, length, and so on)
  • What fees are required for the use of the facility; the organist; for additional musicians; for the sexton; for the minister or rabbi.